I have been thinking over the last few days, or so. How I should approach writing of this sort. In other words, how, or indeed if, should I write about this day-to-day stuff? I think so. I have a great deal to say -- as my life continues to change and progress, and as I deal with this illness. Even if I don't put down a whole lot, writing is part of coming to terms with things. I feel better about what I'm doing and I can understand things more clearly. So, I am not about to put the pen down (so to speak)!
I'm having trouble gaining mental clarity, at the moment. I just can't seem to get my head straight. It means that I have more difficulty understanding situations, and also getting things done. Sometimes, getting something very simple finished, can be close to impossible. It takes much longer to do most things, than I would like! The simpler and more mundane the task, the harder it is for me to do. I'm trying to keep on top of the pain, too.
The 'brain fog', as it is called, is entirely routine for my illness -- but it makes life difficult. Now, the sort of order and planning that would help most people, is simply confusing. It can be frustrating, but it's worth it.
My iPhone has made it much easier to keep up with e-mails, contacts, and calls... it's great! I enjoy the community of The Internet; but I always prefer to go slowly, and not to be bombarded with people and messages.
I'll just keep writing. I've been reading Kafka, and Philip K. Dick. I always look forward to getting my hands on some more audiobooks and music. It's astounding, what's out there.
I admire a lot of things about the sixties 'counter-culture'; and I thought the 40th anniversary of the famous Woodstock Festival would be a fine time to reflect on this, and share my feelings about the legacy of 1960s culture.
The things that particular groups of people (musicians, poets, artists, politicians, activists of all sorts, and spiritualists) were able to make happen, at that time; it has always inspired me! I think that the spirit of those times makes up a great deal of who I am. Life is so pre-packaged. It upsets me, at times.
I want to believe that people can make a difference, within the social and political landscape! I miss that attitude. There's so much apathy and ignorance around, now! I would have loved to witness figures like Dr King, Malcolm X, Huxley, Warhol, Leary, Kerouac, and Ginsberg. It's cool to try to make your choice of love and tolerance, over that of violence and aggression. All of that isn't easy to achieve, though. I like to watch the footage of the marches, the protests, the sit-ins, and the great speeches... Bucking the system.
I am a great believer in love, peace, and activism. And the free exchange of ideas, and beliefs. The Internet is ideal, for continuing the movement of freedom of information. So, there's hope. It's about people, worldwide, sharing information; and re-gaining some power. The Net, blogging, and social networking, is bringing people together.
I am blessed to be home again. That Ketamine was bad crazy! (As the late Hunter S. Thompson might say.) I became quite paranoid and afraid from the stuff. Not fun... I thought I was going crazy!
A lot of the time, I don’t know what to do with myself -- except play harmonica, watch TV, listen to music, and browse the Internet. My thoughts are often in disarray, which is irritating. I can feel pretty down. At the moment, it’s a little upsetting.
I'll find my rhythm, though. It usually takes time, after I get back.
Click on the squares to make the notes you'd like to hear. I love the geometric design. It's great, and simple! (I didn't design this, only found it). All credit to the designers. I make no claim to this at all. But it's just so cool!
A few days ago, I saw the film 'No Country for Old Men', a really gripping and enjoyable experience. It comes to us courtesy of the Coen brothers, and is adapted from a novel by Cormac McCarthy. There has been a great deal of positive hype surrounding this film, and I'm here to tell you that it's well-founded.
It's a dark and beautifully-shot movie, with brutal twists and turns in the plot. The writing's good, too! As a side note, plenty of blood is shed in the course of things; but don't let that put you off. I'd say it's justified. I also found myself noticing things about 'No Country...' that I wouldn't usually notice in movies; like sound design, and cinematography. It flows wonderfully. The characters are dark, complex, and sometimes plain scary! (Check out the creepy killer, played by Javier Bardem.)
The story revolves around a suitcase full of money and drugs; the man who finds it, and the psychopath who wants to take it from him. This isn't a movie where the plot is handed over easily... but it's so worth it!
I've been too sick to do anything substantial, lately; and it's frustrating. Not having enough new material to read and listen to is really difficult! I become almost angry with myself, for not being 'up to it'.
Then, I feel intellectually 'dead', lifeless. It's not good to feel locked into patterns, when I am unwell.
I can move forward now, which is good. I need cognitive input to feel sane... music, books, a computer, and people, are all important. But I need to be realistic and fair to myself, too. All in good time.
I am really trying to 'connect' today. It's my mission now; to take each day on its own terms. I have dealt with this ongoing illness, since 2006.
Much of the terrain has been tough and ugly. Lots of debilitating pain and persistent symptoms. But who wants to write about that? I certainly don't! I get tired. (It has taken me a couple of days to complete this, for instance.)
The fuel that keeps me going is ideas. Raw, universal potential; coupled with my desire to create. I love to write poetry and prose, and to keep blogs. I also love researching and discovering new ideas with my computer (or books).
Sitting here, at my computer, I have no 'set coursework' or curriculum. It is ironic, because I gained a certain degree of freedom, but at great physical cost!
Most people who are reading this will probably be aware of my music blog, 'Mitch's Cave'. Well, I am the very same Mitch!
I should explain that, when I started 'Mitch's Cave', I had only the vaguest notion of what I wanted it to be. As I began to focus the blog more on music, any other observations seemed ungainly or out-of-place. So, here we are; with a new blog.
Hopefully, it will be about my daily life: matters great and small. Social, political and philosophical observations. And maybe poetry, too.