Frustration

I've been too sick to do anything substantial, lately; and it's frustrating. Not having enough new material to read and listen to is really difficult! I become almost angry with myself, for not being 'up to it'.

Then, I feel intellectually 'dead', lifeless. It's not good to feel locked into patterns, when I am unwell.

I can move forward now, which is good. I need cognitive input to feel sane... music, books, a computer, and people, are all important. But I need to be realistic and fair to myself, too. All in good time.

Slowly forward.

Potential

I am really trying to 'connect' today. It's my mission now; to take each day on its own terms. I have dealt with this ongoing illness, since 2006.

Much of the terrain has been tough and ugly. Lots of debilitating pain and persistent symptoms. But who wants to write about that? I certainly don't! I get tired. (It has taken me a couple of days to complete this, for instance.)

The fuel that keeps me going is ideas. Raw, universal potential; coupled with my desire to create. I love to write poetry and prose, and to keep blogs. I also love researching and discovering new ideas with my computer (or books).

Sitting here, at my computer, I have no 'set coursework' or curriculum. It is ironic, because I gained a certain degree of freedom, but at great physical cost!